Murphy’s Laws of Knitting

I’ve been a bit cynical and sarcastic lately (have you noticed?), so I compiled this list. Feel free to leave comments with any additions…

  • Your sweater gauge is directly proportional (but never equal) to your knitted swatch
  • The straight needle size you need is invariably the one missing its mate
  • Woven in ends only poke out the right side
  • No matter how many times you count, your cast on will be wrong
  • If you buy enough of a single dye lot you will lose at least one ball
  • You never have enough of a single dye lot in your stash for the sweater you really want to make
  • Your boyfriend/husband/son will never learn which sweaters _aren’t_ superwash before taking them out of the dryer
  • A cats’ fascination with yarn is directly proportional to its expense
  • You only misplace patterns before you memorize the repeat
  • Colors run most when knit in fair isle or intarsia
  • If you want a sweater to shrink, it will only get bigger once washed
  • You always read “AT THE SAME TIME” once you’ve knit the directions that preceeded it
  • Your second sleeve/sock never looks identical to the first one
  • Hand dyed yarn pools in the most unattractive way imaginable
  • If you need 4 DPNs, you will find 3. If you need 5 DPNs, you will find 4
  • You will only realize you were knitting with 2 different sizes of DPNs during cast off
  • You will learn to hate the color of the sweater you are currently knitting
  • No matter how many stitches you pick up around the neckline it will always be too few

7 thoughts on “Murphy’s Laws of Knitting

  1. If another person is around, I always ask them to count my cast on stitches. I can count them ten times and still doubt myself; apparently I possess the attention span of a gnat.

  2. Last week I experienced the “knitting with two different sized dpns. Argh!
    And counting cast on stitches, forget it.
    My other issue- I always mis-estimate the length of yarn I need to cast on.

  3. LOL!! Too funny. How about you will always knit sweaters which are one size too big or one size too small, but never the one that is juuuuuuuust right? At lease I seem to be plagued by that problem 😉

  4. Yeah, what Amy said. Hee!
    I’m especially bad at overestimating my actual size and making things that are gigantic on me.
    Thanks for the list, I loved it!

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