Thank You Norah

Bear with me on this one – I promise there’s a knitting angle to it
So, I was in a grumpy mood last night. I was dreading work today. And it didn’t even make sense. Last week was my yearly review and it was probably the best review I’ve gotten in my career. Yes, that good! My boss (the CTO) is known to be a really tough reviewer so I was nervous all week leading up to it. But in the end he had a lot of really nice things to say about me. So, you’d think I’d be looking forward to coming in today. I’m starting off the most fun part of the project – early programming. It’s the part where you get to try new things out, bounce ideas off people, that sorta thing. Yes, deep down I’m a geek girl. I just love this stuff. But last night, I was in no mood to look forward to work.
Or anything for that matter.
I sat with the Cabled & Ribbed sweater on my lap for probably 2 hours. And I accomplished 3 rows. Yes, T H R E E. All the while thinking ‘What’s my problem?”
So, I quit on that for the night and went to bed early. Got up this morning to about 4 inches of snow. So, at 5:15 in the morning I go outside to shovel my walk. Why you ask? It was still snowing afterall. Well, a week or so ago we got an inch or 2 of snow. It fell during rush hour and while I was at work. I shoveled when I got home (like most normal, working citizens did that night). Well, the next day I get a letter from the town that I need to keep my sidewalks clean. If it happens again I’ll get a fine and a trip to court. Lovely. So I grumpily think about “the letter” as I shovel this morning. Alone. While everyone else sleeps. Grrrrrr…..
So by now I’m really in quite a mood. The kind where it’s best not to talk to me. I shower, get dressed, and pull together my knitting bag for tonight’s Starbucks meeting. Get in the Jeep. All everyone is talking about is the snow. So, pull out the first CD I can find – Norah Jones – and play that.
Now, can I tell ya how perfect Norah’s velvet voice goes with snow driving? Just perfect. And she totally changed my mood. On the drive up to work I listened to her whole CD more than once (lots of traffic today) and thought about what my friggin problem was. And here’s my conclusion….
I’ve been putting too much pressure on myself to knit this sweater and get it done. It’s become a requirement – not a priviledge – to knit this thing anymore. So, I barely knit this weekend. I missed my “alone all to myself” time and my mind was revolting. Knitting is so much more than just creating something beautiful. I love the way my mind wanders to far away places, or to solving a problem I might have, or to something as simple as what I’d like to make for dinner. Whatever. It’s my time for me. And I didn’t get it this weekend.
So, I’m ditching all deadlines. I want to make this because I enjoy it. Because I want to (which I very much do). But if that means swapping out another project for a week or 2, then so be it. It’s been almost a week now without any real progress so what’s the harm anyway?
As for tonight’s knitting. I think I’ll pick up the Kureyon scarf or maybe a backpack pattern. I’ve had that on my interest list for a while now.